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News: I moved the keyboard to my room and now I feel strongly inclined to tell the world that I adore Phantom of the Opera. Everything is perfectly normal and no, I don't have access to any secret underground labyrinth...yet.

--12 August 2017 --

Quote: Words are pale shadows of forgotten names. As names have power, words have power. Words can light fires in the minds of men. Words can wring tears from the hardest of hearts. --Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind

The Fellowship

April 13, 2010

A Wee Bit of Humour?

Here is your laugh for the day :P I hope you folks enjoy! Again, it's under the same copyright as before.


Squeaks.


Excerpt from Chapter 2!!


With a mental map at hand, he walked the way he’d been in his mind and soon found his nose overwhelmed by the smells of breakfast. Turning the last corner, he stepped into the kitchen. A loud, accented voice bellowed from among pots and pans and serving dishes.

“Aah! I tol’ you owt! Owt, owt, owt! Blastid mongrul!”

Galeron hid behind a large open barrel of flour and followed the tree roots in his mind until he was looking down on the head chef.

The man’s pudgy face was splotted with red and he had flour on his beard. He towered over Karis, waving a pan.

“But Malcom, father told me to tell you everyone is ready.”

Karis straightened slightly and lowered her hand from her head. Malcom feinted relaxation and then whopped her a good one on the skull.

“Thad’ll tich you fer stekin yer ‘ands in mine sawces!”

Karis rubbed her head gingerly and scowled as she stepped away. She knew better than to fight back, especially when Malcom had that large fillet knife strapped to his apron.

Galeron couldn’t hold in the laughter that was bubbling in his stomach. He finally let out a loud snort and proceeded to nearly choke as he crawled out of his hiding place and stood up, shaking with good humour.

Malcom slowly turned around and glared at Galeron,

“Owt of my kitchern. Owt!”

Karis cut him off as she stepped forward.

“Why you little sneak!” She fumed. Galeron was rooted to the spot with tears trickling down his cheeks and a large, impish grin stuck on his face. He’d never seen Karis look so ticked! Malcom’s accent, when he thought of it, sent him into another round of laughter.

Karis frowned and then snatched a pan and threw it into the flour barrel. The white powder gave a loud WHOOF. Galeron could be heard sneezing amidst the haze; when it cleared, he was holding his stomach laughing. His entire upper body was covered in a thin layer of white flour.

“DAT IS ENOUGH!” Malcom yelled and brandished his large fillet knife, which he swiped anxiously back and forth on his pants. Karis’s eyes widened and Galeron managed to stop laughing.

“BOLT OF YOU! OWT NOW!”

Karis didn’t need to be asked twice. She snatched Galeron’s arm and dragged him from the kitchen.

“That wasn’t funny!” She snapped, “I don’t appreciate being laughed at.”

Galeron snorted and brushed flour off his shirt. He mimicked Malcom’s accented tenor voice,

“Thad’ll tich you fer stekin yer ‘ands in mine sawces!”

Karis spun away and walked off, but not before Galeron could glimpse a smile playing on her lips. He licked the flour off of his own and called after her,

“I saw that!”

“Oh yeah?” She responded without looking back, “Go get breakfast or my dad will be even more livid.”

With that, she turned into one of the many passages and disappeared.





Creative Commons License
This
work by Squeaks is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 Canada License.

7 comments:

  1. Love the accent Squeaks that was great I could so totally hear him in my head.
    Keep writing you have the talent and the ideas just keep progressing. I have started several stories and was not able to finish one until last year I have probably like 15 maybe 20 unfinished. What help me was I shared my story with someone I trusted letting them reading it as the story fell from my fingers. When I would feel discouraged she kept asking for more which got me excited all over again. I am not sure if this would work for you but it is an idea. Keep it up Squeaks.

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  2. Thanks so much Jessica! I really do appreciate the comments, whether they be corrective or encouraging :P I will definitely have to write more :)

    Squeaks.

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  3. BAHA! That was funny, I liked Galeron best! That was really good!

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  4. Awesome! It sounds great. And hilarious.

    How do you do such an accent? I can do a weak version, but making a halfway coherent, thick accent is beyond what I can do. :)

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  5. @ Jake, just make the accent up in your head and then write it down as you'd pronounce it... so for example if I had a Southern drawl, I wouldn't be saying "What a nice yellow colour" I'd be saying something like "Why that there's a mighty fine yeller hawse, mista." lol

    Squeaks.

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  6. Mmm, what would be a medieval accent? I just cant figure it out!

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  7. Phew, I just published a post...a game for accent's over at my blog. If anyone wants to take part well than that is great. Thanks

    ~Son of the King~

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