- Smoothness of development. Does the excerpt have a smooth transition from tense situation to relaxation? (1 = poor, 10 = great)
- Tension (1 = none, 10 = lots!)
- Description (1 = not enough, 10 = perfect!); just the right amount of description is needed to make a scene come alive.
- Your experience (1 = boring, 10 = my heart rate accelerated); as a reader, the tension of the experience should get your heart pumping...if it doesn't then something is probably wrong.
- Interruptions (1 = too many, 10 = none); too many interruptions quell the feeling of tension and make the moment less stressful.
- Any other comments: just jot down whatever else you think is important for me to know :)
And now for the excerpt...
Sam bolted upright in bed. Her sheets were soaked with sweat and she felt her heart thumping against her ribs at a furious pace. Her comforter lay against the far wall of the room and her pillow was torn. White feathers spilled out of the mangled side and onto the floor.Slowly, Sam got up and flicked on her light switch. She grabbed her comforter and wrapped it around her. Her pillow greeted her gaze when she turned her eyes towards her bed. Wiping sweat from her brow, she carefully placed the wounded item on a chair and grabbed another pillow from her closet.It was just a dream, Sam told herself as she climbed back onto her bed. She went to turn the light out when a faint scratching sound reached her ear. Sam froze. The sound stopped and a low moan echoed from near her window. Slowly, very slowly, Sam turned around and then snickered at her childish fear. It was only a tree branch scratching her window and the moaning was simply the wind rushing against the roof.Still, Sam wasn’t courageous enough to turn out her light and fall back to sleep. She threw her legs over the side of her bed and glanced at the clock while she slipped on her slippers. The time read 10:22pm. Enough time to grab a cup of tea, she thought to herself.
Please post your complete judgment in a comment; your opinions will be released on Tuesday (August 3rd).