News: My thoughts are clouds I cannot fathom into pastries.

--1 June 2018--

Quote: Words are pale shadows of forgotten names. As names have power, words have power. Words can light fires in the minds of men. Words can wring tears from the hardest of hearts. --Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind

The Fellowship

February 22, 2011

"A Lament for the Simplicity of Life" by Squeaks

I did a bit of writing today and although what came out of my mind was like a splurge of dirty water, at least it is something compared to the hopeless, mind-numbing blankness that has invaded my life for the last while. So *gulp* here goes!

A Lament for the Simplicity of Life

The sun-splashed meadow calls to me even now, as I am buried within tons of concrete. It is as though its honey-sweetened airs have wafted across hill and dale to present themselves to me here; their cries echo in my ears, calling for me to come and play.

I once danced under the heavy branches of the oak and fir, mindlessly passing by the brilliance of the leafy green glens. Carousing amidst the chirps of wild birds, I would mutter in an unintelligible language that only the trees could comprehend. Such light-heartedness warms me even now. My flowing garb of fairy-silk would drift in amongst the grasses.

What now! Has all childhood been for naught? Has all playfulness been condemned to external doom, enclosed in a jar now buried under the earth? My mind longs for the simplicity of life, what once was mine but has now been lost in the crashing waves of the ocean. Its cool, salty spray falls upon me, reminding me of what once was but can now never be reattained.

I catch those ancient breezes now and again, and they serve to refresh me. The smile of a friend, a lightness in the gaze of a loved one, the laughter shared in moments of joy, the random statements that surge from deep within. All of these stoke flames of creativity that now lie as cooling embers in my soul.

I am a warrior princess, dressed in finery and also in battle gear. I wield my sword deftly, defending the weak and innocent against the wrath of the principalities of this world. While my hand is strong from holding a sword, it is also soft and gentle, grasping the hands of those who have fallen and cannot get up on their own.

Yet while I aid those who cannot help themselves, I am sometimes so overcome with weariness and such strong emotion, I sink to the ground in desperation, pleading for aid. But those whom I have helped in their darkest moments haughtily turn their backs and sneer as they send billowing blackness towards me.

Yet no dragon will take me captive; even though I stumble and stagger like one smote across the head with a stick, I can yet find strength to rise. It is such a comfort to know that I am not alone. My knight on my right-hand side, my star on my left, and my Master in the front, I shall surely be raised up and cared for to the end of my days.

So let the wind blow where it will, for no matter where those whisperings come from and no matter where they go, I shall not be wavered from my path. Though I be buried or trapped in steel, my heart shall be forever free to wander the realms of imagination and peruse the heavenly heights.

So yeah...kinda lame and probably inconsistent in thought process. The writing isn't great, but hey, whatever. At least it is a start! And praise God that my creative streak is coming back :P I can feel it slowly surging into my veins again; it feels so good to have that familiar rush return.

That shall be all for now! Cheerio folks!

Signed with a battle axe,


February 21, 2011

Epic Awesome Piercings

And it's in! I got all 3 piercings done! It didn't hurt at all, just a little pinch, although cleaning the helix piercing killed that first day...I almost passed out :P If it weren't for the help of my steadfast brother, who sticks with me through blood and skewering metal things, well...I'd have probably been on the floor in the bathroom ... out cold. :P

So, here is a picture!!

It's epic! I took that picture with my phone like...20 minutes after I had them done. You can see my ear is really quite red lol XD but the pain is totally worth it!

Now, two days later, the lobe piercings ache every now and then but don't hurt if they're bumped. The helix, on the other hand, it causes constant headaches and hurts if something touches it :( but it'll get better soon! And it looks soo rad! haha!

First day back at university was awful, but my night was made when I found out I passed my two midterms with nearly 80% grade in both!! I thought I was going to bomb them because the physics midterm was super hard and the psychology mid term ... well, I didn't have enough time to study for it :( But I did fairly great! Not the grades I want (I want higher) but hey...Jesus is so good to have let me received something I don't know if I deserved lol!

And on a side topic, I have this friend (I'll give him the alias The Wizard, because he's pretty epic haha) anyways, we were discussing the fact of owning dragons and creating palantir's :P He said he'd get together a team of 100 awesome scientists and with the creativity of our brains we'd create the newest phoning system :P It would be so epic haha...and then SOTK, he would come in with the pyrotechnic displays to show off the newest addition to Apple's software (or whatever company we choose to grant usage of our amazing invention).

Anyways, enough blabble for now. I hope you've had a good start to the week!

Signed with a spritz of sparklies! (I love shiny things XD)


February 18, 2011


Hey Folks,

  I've returned with much gusto today, parents agreed to let me get 3 piercings! Two in my ear lobes and one in my cartilage. So, check 'er out!

The cartilage piercing I want to get done is on the helix. Apparently it doesn't hurt much at all initially, although after a few days it really aches. Also, it's important to keep the area clean or you can get nasty infections. But...I'm willing to brave these things because this is a piercing I've wanted for quite some time!!

And then of course, the lobe piercings...but you folks all know what those look like ;)

So yeah, hopefully tomorrow I'll go into town with my mom and get them done :D I'm quite excited!

Signed with a pointy object (which reminds me, I had blood taken today for testing :S not fun!),


February 17, 2011

Well Hey Now!

Hey!! FOLKS!!! I am here again! Probably not for long lol, you see I have a week break which is AWESOME *jumps up and down* but that week is slowly coming to a close :(

So, what has been up in the life of Squeaks lately? Hmm, well, lots of craaazy things have been happening, but I won't bore you with the details of my life. Let's get to the grit and grime shall we?

I've officially taken up watching all of LOTR again. Almost finished. Just have one more disk to go :P And let me tell you, at first I was terrified. I forgot how scary the Nazgul's were and the evil orcses and the goblins and *shivers* Smeagol. But, putting that behind me, I had one night of absolute torment and then I woke up the next day totally not scared at all. It was amazing. So now I can watch heads fly and intestines get strewn all over the place and I don't even shirk. It's amazing what a steeled brain can do. Just put up the walls lock yerself in and voila, you've got a pretty good chance of making it through LOTR alive.

Talking about disgusting things, while I'm on the topic I might as well bring up something that's absolutely sickening and will probably make you skip this paragraph (hint hint: if you're weak of stomach, please skip now!!!).

I had to do this psychology experiment where I was the subject (yes, I was being experimented on) and the point of the experiment was to lie to the experimenter. In other words, they asked you questions and you had to say "NO!" to every single one. But FIRST I had to watch three movies.

So here's how the story goes. I was pretty much in panic mode because I had just come out of a really tough physics midterm at the university and now I had to find the room in which the psyc experiment was held. Took me 5 minutes to find was a MAZE of hallways :( But, I managed and I got through. So, it was room 342 or something; I found the number and went in and....

*dun dun dun dun* the lights were dim and no one was inside :S So I looked around and decided I'd walk down the hallway towards the private offices. I go down the hallway and there, in a tiny room with NO WINDOWS was Brandon. He looked up with that weird psychology person type smile and said, "Hey! Come on in!"

What did I do? I went in. I didn't hesitate or scream or be like, "Oh my goodness!" Although I probably should have because it's kinda odd for an older guy to ask a girl into a room with no windows, close the door behind her, and then interrogate her :| Yeah...weird. So I went about my business, signing the sheets that handed my mind over to him for 45 minutes.

What happened next was most vile. He said, "Ok, so I'm going to have you watch some movies. You can rate them here (gives me a little sheet with some questions) and just hit pause if you need to." So I begin...and what meets my eyes practically turns my stomach inside out. The first video is in an operating room. And the surgeons and nurses are joking as they uh...remove dead white blood cells from large pockets on a man's back. *ahem* in other words, for those strong of stomach, they were popping humongous pimples. *gag*

It was so gross. I remember looking over at Brandon and making probably what looked like an absolutely disgusted face. He was very good at holding back his smile...but I saw the corner of his lip twitch. He must have had that reaction many times :P So yeah, that was absolutely sickening. I had a hard time eating or drinking anything for days afterwards lol!

Well, on with the discussion, perhaps to something less vile now eh? I have good news! I am doing a LOT more singing in my church. It's so much fun folks! I love to sing and being given this opportunity is amazing. My family (church family that is) are all so very encouraging to me, thus, the more I sing the more encouragement I get, the more I want to sing. It's a good type of circle.

I miss ya'll a TON and wish I could be part of bloggosphere more, but I just have so much stuff on the go and *wilts* I have not the strength or energy to post much on here these days. I'm afraid you won't be hearing lots from me in the weeks and months to come, but hey...whatever little you do get I dare say it's worth while because, in my opinion, the things that come from the mouth of Squeaks here *grins* are worth hearing. Well, most of the time that is.

I have not given up writing altogether. I haven't touched my book at all for two months and I haven't even done any descriptive writing, except for a wee bit here and there :( But, I do write poetry still. Every now and then I'll get some kinda weird instinctive urge to write and I'll pick up my pencil (or pen) and scribble my hastily formed thoughts onto the nearest writable surface. So, at least my skill is not entirely flushed down the drain. Perhaps in the summer I'll pick up the pace a bit more and start using my mind for USEFUL stuff, rather than wasting its energy on chemical equations and integrals.

What are some of the useful things I've been up to lately? Here are a few:

- I've been emailing a lot more :P
- I've been BAKING!! Yippee for chocolate cake that has such thick icing it makes you sick :P (actually it was really quite good).
- I've been cleaning >:|
- I've been singing (either worship songs or strange made-up tunes that have little/no rhyme and the randomest words in the whole world)
- I've been dancing (yep, gotta dance to Starfield music :P too bad SOTK don't dance with me!)
- I've been dreaming (about whatever I dream of)
- I've been praying (about many many things)
- I've been hoping (about many things too)
- I've been memorizing (Scripture, along with many items on my useless list, which I won't bother to put up)
- I've been typing (as I am doing now)
- I've been not making my bed :P (I don't think there is a difference between making it and unmaking it, except that when you unmake it, it's far easier to snuggle into the sheets XD)
- I've been watching LOTR
- I've been listening to music (woot!! I LOVE MUSIC!)
- I've been eating peanut butter (can't get any better than that)
- I've been riding on a bus (on my days when I must attend the torture center {aka. school})
- I've been carrying a huuuuuge backpack (actually, it's not huge, just really heavy)
- I've been kissing my kitty cats!! (should they make this into a sport? LOL!)
- I've been smiling a lot (it's fun!)
- I've been getting mom to crack my back (no it doesn't relieves the pain in me poor vertebrae!)
- I've been doing-too-much-nonsense-writing-at-this-moment-and-I-think-I-should-stop-before-I-thoroughly-ruin-my-reputation-for-good-writing XD

Yes, that felt really good. Just get that randomness out of your system and *poof* it's like you're back to normal. Mind you, I think my normal is someone else's random. Good stuff, good stuff...and good times too :P

So, tell me, are you happy Squeaks returned for a wee visit? I hope to be back again!

Cheerio folks!

Signed with a great big smile,

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