News

News: I moved the keyboard to my room and now I feel strongly inclined to tell the world that I adore Phantom of the Opera. Everything is perfectly normal and no, I don't have access to any secret underground labyrinth...yet.

--12 August 2017 --

Quote: Words are pale shadows of forgotten names. As names have power, words have power. Words can light fires in the minds of men. Words can wring tears from the hardest of hearts. --Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind

The Fellowship

March 27, 2011

I Am Not a Bouncy Ball

Hola Amigo's!!!

  What brings Squeaks to her keyboard at this unearthly (untimely) and most silly hour? To recount a tale of woe and sorrow of the great pain in the bottom. Indeed...I come to tell you of an event that happened not more than 30 minutes ago (although it will probably be more than that by the time I finish writing this whole account).

  I was riding my darling Cearazo today and decided to go up the 200 acres (a plot of land that is... 200 acres lol!) I told SOTK that I was heading up, and after equipping myself with my helmet and my horse I started off. The initial kilometer was rather enjoyable. The wind was warm, the sun was warm, the dogs were panting noisily beside me. The ground was not slippy (very little snow at that level). Cearazo was just breaking a little sweat.
  Then, my sense of curiosity nabbed me by the fingers and I directed Ce-Ce up higher. We went an additional kilometer...at that point the road became slippy, the snow was a foot deep in some places, and the wind was cold. The sun itself decided to hide his little face behind a gigantically puffy white cloud with angry grey streaks. I imagined sounds of breaking branches, bear grunts, cougar yowls...essentially I psyched myself out and decided to turn around before I even found out where the path really went.
  Thus, Ce-Ce and I began the treacherous descent. I pushed him into a little trot and we bounced our way down the path. I let him pick his way as I dodged the branches and thorny bushes that attempted to snag me off his back. To my great dismay, something shocked Ce-Ce as we were about 3/4 of the way down the hillside. He took off into a canter. At first it was controlled, so I tried to bring him into a trot so I could stop him. Yet, the nasty little creature decided to do things his own way. A nice straight stretch of path loomed ahead of us and Ce-Ce grabbed the bit in his teeth and tore off.
  I frantically tried to stop him, since I knew that there was a lovely copse of trees ahead that stood directly in the middle of the path and if we barreled through that...well, I'd probably lose my head. To my dismay, despite my attempts to calm the wired horse, Ce-Ce pushed even faster. The hill was at about a 60-75% grade at this point...pretty steep. The branches were flying at my face. If I leaned forward I would propel him to go even faster. If I leaned back, I'd get my face smacked silly. A corner appeared between the trees and I realized that either I was going to bail or gravity would take me off. After a second of indecision, gravity decided for me; we went into the corner at a gallop and I flew off the side of Ce-Ce. As his pounding hoofbeats slowly dissolved into the distance, I was brought to realization that I was covered in snow and that my bottom hurt like heck. I lay there for several moments, having a little pity party. Our black lab (Beauty) approached me and tried to lick my face *gag* so I forced myself to roll over and get up. My bottom felt as though it were on fire.
  I was considering taking it slowly down the mountainside when I suddenly realized, Oh dang it all! What will my parents think when they see a riderless horse come barreling down the driveway, fully saddled and bridled? Grimacing against the pain, I bit my lip and vaulted down the pathway. When I emerged from the trees, I realized that I would have to go cross-country for about 1.5km downhill in order to even think of making it home in time to head off or at least follow close behind my naughty horse. So, I started slip-sliding down the hillside, running when I dared and sliding in my rubbers when I daren't (is that a word? whatever, I like it anyways).
  I made it to the last ridge just in time to see Ce-Ce trotting down the driveway towards the house. I let out a loud hollar, hoping someone would hear and grab the beastie.
  "Ce-Ce!!!!!!!! CE-CE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP IT YOU LITTLE BRAT!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! GET BACK HERE!!!" I cried as loud as I could as I continued cutting through the muddy hillside. I was so intent in my calling that I almost ran straight through the barb-wire fence. Now that would have been absolutely horrid. Not only would I have a bruised bottom but a bloody torso XD Not good.
  Thankfully, mom was down by our little bridge and heard my cries, she tried to head off Cearazo but he passed her quickly and ran straight for home. I flew down the hillside, acutely aware of my throbbing backside, and finally caught up to my mom.
  "What happened?" she asked, "Did you fall?"
  "Yep." I said breathlessly, rubbing my back and cringing when I felt the pain of some bruise.
  In the end, Ce-Ce was caught by my brother. I rode him around to cool him off then put him away with a mouthful of grain (he really didn't deserve it...but that's grace haha). When I got in the house I checked my back and ... yes ... I have a lovely red and purple scrape. My shin was also bruised (a minor one compared to the other). Now, I sit here rather awkwardly at my computer desk, sipping some Vanilla Nut Cream tea (Stash tea, if you ever want to buy it...tis great!).

  Thus, the moral of this story is: I am not a bouncy ball. I will not rebound immediately after my fall and ... I highly suspect I will enjoy the lovely caresses of pain tomorrow as I attempt to walk the 300 stairs at my school XD

  I'm afraid that this whole post may have sounded scattered and even over-flamboyant in word choices. Please forgive me :P I haven't been writing for a LONG time and I'm afraid I've relapsed back into ga-ga-goo-goo baby talk :( I haven't really had much inspiration for writing lately but, BUT BUT BUT!!! I have been writing poetry :) So at least what is in my brain is not utterly lost! haha

  Well folks, I hope you enjoyed this, and if you didn't enjoy it then ... *gulp* I hope you enjoy what I will be writing later. I can't guarantee *states in nasally annoying sales-clerk voice* that I will be back soon but I can guarantee that you have not seen the last of me :)

Signed with a hoof-pick,

Squeaks.

   

10 comments:

  1. Yep, quite the site to see, galloping riderless horse followed by a disheveled looking girl. Thank you God for keeping Squeaks safe!

    mom
    <><

    ReplyDelete
  2. My goodness, that was hilarious awesomely epic. Sorry your rear hurts! :( *sends Squeaks an ice pack and some chocolate or something*

    I loved the epic tale of wanna-be bouncy balls :P It was great.
    My sister came up next to me and started reading. About 7/8's of the way through she said, "Is this part of her book or something?" and I went, "No!! This happened half an hour ago!"

    My sister: "Oooh!"

    =P

    Great post. Thanks :) Heal quickly 'kay?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks Director!! :D I think that's so hilarious how your sister thought it was part of my book XD Maybe I could incoporate it in? Like, the evil villain gets thrown from his horse and has to run 5 miles to the tavern where he finds his steed eating oats happily...and his (the evil dude's) rear is sore XD that would be hilarious!

    @ Mom, thanks! :P Hope it wasn't too much of a scare lol!

    Squeaks.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Good to hear from ye, Squeaks! And I hope you don't hurt too much. If TD hadn't already sent you an icepack, I might've thought of doing that. ;)
    (Lucky Squeaks... you have horses.)

    --Vrenith

    ReplyDelete
  5. Squeaks is back! AGAIN! XD

    Greetings! Hallucinations! Speoshlackations! (Try saying that word five times fast. >_>)

    Good to have you back. Hope your posterior heals well.

    ReplyDelete
  6. @Vrenith and Jake, MERCI! Thanks guys! I love hearing from ya both again! Tis awesomeness that ya haven't forgotten Squeaks yet :P (actually, it's a miracle lol!)

    @Jake, I said that word (however you spelled it) five times...fast. It rolls off the tongue quite nicely :P (seriously, I actually did it)

    Squeaks.

    ReplyDelete
  7. LOL... oh, it's nice when you're back. :D Your flamboyant post was hilarious. :)

    That happened to me when I was about 13... ouch. :P I'm glad you didn't get - I almost said hurt, but um, that would make it seem like I didn't even read your post - um, injured? Naughty horse...

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  8. @Squeaks
    YES! You should SO do that??? Hahaha, could *I* steal the epic sore-bottomed villain idea?? That's awesome!!! We should both do that or something.... *snickers*

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  9. @Katherine, merci! Ouchy, yeah, falling off your horse isn't exactly the most pleasant experience, but at least it beats getting trampled by one (that happened to SOTK). I'm feeling much better today though :)

    @TD, yes! You can take the idea, it was just something random that popped to my mind, I don't think I'll use it lol (of course I can't guarantee it lol but you can have it if ya want XD)

    Squeaks.

    ReplyDelete
  10. It does, it does! Speoshlackations! Making words like that are quite fun. Ever tried to say Lichtenstein? That is a FUN word XD I believe it's pronounced, "Lick-ten-shtine" with a proper accent. ;)

    Aye, I still lurk on the blogosphere. More or less. :) But YOU shall never be forgotten! Glad to see you a-posting again!

    ReplyDelete

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