News: My thoughts are clouds I cannot fathom into pastries.

--1 June 2018--

Quote: Words are pale shadows of forgotten names. As names have power, words have power. Words can light fires in the minds of men. Words can wring tears from the hardest of hearts. --Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind

The Fellowship

August 26, 2017

Autumnal Aesthetic - Wishing for October

Autumn is my favourite season of the year; the months of September through November refresh my soul and remind me how good it is to be alive, experiencing the earthy magic of a transforming planet.


the beauty of autumn

Pumpkin butter + campfires + cinnamon + rhubarb jam + nutmeg + spiced apples + cider + candlelight + sweaters + creamy soup + crinkling leaves + ghost mist + soft voices + twirling leaves + warm houses + sunset leaves + puddle boots + steamy tea + handwritten letters + crisp air + smoky laughter + wispy curls + russet blush + freckled cheekbones + fluffy kittens + glowing lanterns + corn maze magic + whimsy + aromatic coffee + curled fingers + mason jars + hot chocolate + rustic flannel + enchanting friendships + glazed donuts + laced pie + baked browns + wooden spoons + wool socks + whipped clouds + shadowed mountains + steady pathways + demure glances + straw brooms + ruby embers + chilled lips + buttermilk

Click the button below to see a compilation of autumn-themed tumblrs...

{ What's your favourite thing about this coming season? 
Let me know in a comment below <3 }

Signed with a soft touch,


August 16, 2017

{A Review} - The Toddler Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Whiny Unfed

Are you guys ready for an amusing review on a book about toddlers? YES?! HERE WE GO CHUMS *maniacal laughing from a childless young adult*

The Toddler Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Whiny Unfed by Mike and Heather Spohr

Toddlers and zombies both communicate mainly through groans, clumsily trail after you everywhere you go (especially into the bathroom in the toddler's case), and--upon entering your life--leave you frazzled, on edge, and deeply sleep deprived. 
The Toddler Survival Guide is a hilarious parody of Max Brooks's The Zombie Survival Guide (and survival guides in general) that will leave parents laughing out loud even as it provides practical advice on how they can make it to the other side of toddlerhood intact. Written by parents who have studied toddlers up-close in their natural habitat, the book will cover survival skills including how you can outfit your home to outlast a toddler occupation (baby gate, cabinet locks, wine), how you can subdue an angry toddler ("Elmo's Song," mac and cheese, smartphone) and even how you can safely venture out in public together without your toddler--or you--bursting into tears. {Goodreads Synopsis}
*Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this ebook from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review*

While I am certainly not a parent (and let's be honest, I tend to shirk away from kids because they're adorable little ninjas and I would enlist a thousand of them as my little minions so I can rule the world -kidding- so let's just like....pretend they don't exist and we can all push the motherly hormones into a galaxy far far away; #singlelife5ever #cringyhipsterninjawannabe), I still quite enjoyed this read. I can't say I learned anything mind-blowing about toddlers from it. However, it did outline several neat little common-sense notes and, if you're a parent approaching that fell land of toddlerdom, methinks it would amuse your tired soul. 

To assure my dear readers that this book was entirely hilarious and informative (to a minimal degree on the latter), I have included several of my favourite quotes below, followed by a list of things I liked/disliked, etc :)

{1} In comparison to babies...
Toddlers, on the other hand, are able to wreak havoc vertically and with velociraptor-like speed.
{2} Tiny artists...
Toddlers are like tiny Banksys who want their work to be seen on the biggest canvas possible, and in your home that canvas is your walls. 
{3} Food negotiation...
Just like you don’t negotiate with terrorists, you don’t negotiate with toddlers. Once you start saying, “One bite of carrots and you can have a cookie,” your toddler has won. The next thing you know, a few months will pass and the rate of business will have slowly bumped up to the point where you’re trading five cookies and a scoop of ice cream for that same, teensy-weensy bite of carrots. 

Unique Features

  • Plenty of humour and multiple references to currently-relevant entertainment (movies, shows, books, etc)
  • Parent testimonials from the present day and (with a bit of imagination) from the 1800s :P 
  • Pictures & art to complement the prosaic snark
  • Toddler tips - that is, tips that are not sarcastic and probably will help you raise a child
    • Feeding tips; dealing with candy, vegetables, and the glorious mess post dinner battle
    • How to keep them clean (good follow-up after meals)
    • Common fears they have and how to nullify them (like fear of baths b/c of drains that might suck them away... I remember this fear when I was isn't a joke)
    • Dealing with screaming toddlers in public situations (stores, restaurants, extended family visits, airplanes, etc).
  • Top 5 places to hide candy (from worst to best) and other amusing lists

Things that didn't jive with me:
  • Mild language and some mature content 
  • Started off treating the concept of a toddler as a thing to be feared, rather than tiny people with feelings and souls; however, it didn't follow that train the whole way, so this was only a slightly bothersome itch rather than a battle wound to the book

Overall, it was an amusing read (and despite the title, had very little reference to the walking dead). I wouldn't go so far as to say it's a must-have for your new-parent shelf, but if you appreciate a little humour and snark and want a refresher to your common-sense detector, then you'll probably enjoy this one!

{Rating} - 4/5 Stars

Thanks for reading folks! More reviews coming soon :) 

Signed with whiteout, 


August 12, 2017

5 July Mini-Reviews || + August Line-up

I've been reading fictional books *hullabaloo* (to keep me well balanced between the insufferable dehydration of reading lengthy papers with hair-raising titles like Synaptic effects from chemically activated fine muscle afferents upon alpha-motoneurones in decerbrate and spinal cats or Fatigue-related firing of distal muscle nociceptors reduces voluntary activation of proximal muscles of the same limb). Doesn't that sound like a smashing time? Of course it does. I can feel the unending pounding between my ears, which is uncanny because it feels an awful lot like caffeine withdrawal...
*makes more coffee*
Anyways. I'm bringing you 4 mini-blurbs from some of my July readings (I read 17 books in July...heavens preserve my laminated soul). Perhaps they will inspire you to appreciate the Elysian simplicity of folding yourself into a fictional world. 

But the thing about people, Kell had discovered, is that they didn't really want to know. They thought they did, but knowing only made them miserable.

Goodies: Piratey undertones || unique magic system || delightful thievery (don't try that at home though) || exceptionally developed new language || villains that gave me a Saruman-has-an-equally-evil-twin vibe || a good deal of stabbiness

Character Development: {4/5} We meet Kell and Lila, our protagonists. It felt to me like we stumbled into Kell as though we were half way through a story. I adore the broken charmer trope, but I felt less connected to his story arc than I did to Lila's. Lila fascinated me. She's adventurous, deadly, and witty. A first class snarker. 10/10 recommend if only for Lila's sass. But really, the rest of the characters were very well developed and thoroughly enjoyable. Prepare to have your heart crushed.

Content Snatchery: {3/5} While I now very much adore this book, it took me two tries to get into it. The second try got the job done (probably because I actually bought a physical copy, whereas I borrowed a library audiobook the first It reads like well written old fantasy. However, it does take a bit to get into, so please do give it a chance. Furthermore, I will divulge that the second book is infinitely better.

Boring Parts: {first bit} Trust me, let the story arc develop before you throw it away. Yes, the first bit is boring, but...when you finally slip into the deep end of Schwab's world, you'll be thankful you stuck it out (especially when you hit the second book - can anyone tell I really really like the second book??).

Romance: {minor} While there is a romantic subplot, it is surprisingly minor and doesn't take away from the main arc. I loved this. I hate poorly written (or over-written) romance, so if you're looking for minimalism on that ledge, you'll like this one. 

My eyes are sweating: {2/5} It was a great book, but not terribly moving on the emotional level. This is my personal opinion. I may have let two tears drop near the end, but it wasn't heart wrenching the way a Warnette arc might have been.... 

{My Rating: 5/5}

His Majesty, may sun finches warble sweet melodies in his ear...
His Majesty, may orchids bloom in the wake of his passing...

Goodies: Realistic character representations || female MC has brains and uses them and we all applaud her for being an intelligent, delightful bean || Arabian-esque vibe || deserts and sneakery || really strong female character line up!!

Character Development: {5/5} This story follows Elisa's arc and she makes some incredible changes over the duration of the tale. I absolutely loved it. It has a major theme of self-love, as the MC starts off by self-deprecating her appearance (over-weight, loves pastries, etc). However, it doesn't make thin the goal. I loved that. Yes, Elisa becomes somewhat more fit over the course of the story, but she never ends up as a model, rather she comes to love herself and the body type she has.
Also, fifty hands of applause to the inclusion of static characters like Alejandro (jerk wimp...ugh..) and Xemina (ninja amazingness) and Rosario (brrrrraaaat). We have a great cast here folks!

Content Snatchery: {3/5} It had a decent start, but too many lulls between the action. The first half was pretty awesome, but then things took a totally weird and different turn and idk, I just liked the first half mostly. Also, the ending, in my opinion, was a disappointment. I didn't like it.

Boring Parts: {a fair number} Also, *complains* repetition. I felt as though multiple components of the plot were rehashed over and I was a little peeved by the end. Plus, the backstory for the religion was in depth; however, it never actually made much sense... I left feeling confused on that point.

Romance: {halfsies?} There was romance, but it was flimsy and it grated on my nerves for the most part. Elisa + Alejandro felt totally unnatural...I got more of a sibling vibe and that was weird, so I didn't like them together. Then, everyone was yelling PROPS to her other romance arc, but IT FELT SO FORCE and just asdlfkja. I didn't like it either. I don't see what everyone has been raving about. So, yeah, I wasn't much of a fan.

My eyes are sweating: {2/5} Some parts were very moving. Some deaths were very moving. But for me, it was the deaths that weren't the major ones that really bummed me eh, not an intense eyeball sweating, but a minor intense (like sobbing for 2 seconds then moving on intense).

{My Rating: 3/5}

Oh the ridiculous things one has to do when one is a pirate.

Goodies: Female pirate || intense singing || sassy retorts || hidden treasure || PLOT TWISTS :O

Character Development: {3/5} Alosa is our MC - she's a pirate. She's also under a secret mission and has hidden abilities...dare you find out what they are? Ok, I was entirely drawn to this book because 1 - fantastic cover art (I know, I'm horrible) and 2 - pirates. The piratey part of the character development was great, but sometimes it felt too rushed. Also the plot felt weirdly paced in some areas. Nevertheless, Alosa was delightful. Riden, I can't say the same for him - he had great potential but kind of petered out about 3/4 of the way through and became something akin to a fleshblob that simply performed the rites of the arc to get it to the end. I was sorely :| sorely disappointed in him.

Content Snatchery: {5/5} Oh yes, getting into this book was very easy. What with murderous pirates and so on and so forth :D very fantastic snatchery. Pity it didn't last.

Boring Parts: {3/5} When there was action, the action was fantastic...but it was interspersed by lulls that made me so frustrated. And again, plot repetitions. It's as if writing a decent joiner between scenes is impossible for some authors.

Romance: {TOO MUCH} UGH why do some books with fantastic potential have to have sweltering romance that simply derails everything and ruins the character development (let me mourn). If you're not a romance person, then just avoid this whole mess entirely. WE HAD SOMETHING GOOD AND ROMANCE STOLE IT AWAY :'( *tears*

My eyes are sweating: {1/5} One tear of withering regret for the romance that ripped the plot to shreds.

{My Rating: 3/5}

Goodies: Excellent imagery || Russian folklore and overall vibe (ya'll know what I'm talking about if you've read the first book) || GIANT EGG PRISONS

Character Development: {1/5} We left off with this masterfully spun piece in the last book, so I had expected to see the same delightful character development in this one. I was sad because it all felt so rushed! I don't want to say any spoilers here, but if you were expecting the same action and banter from The Crown's Game, doesn't continue in The Crown's Fate :( In fact, I'd go as far to say that the characters purposefully do exactly what the reader screams for them not to do simply to cause conflict - and that, in my humble opinion, is a poor way to develop things.

Content Snatchery: {2/5} Not much snatchery. Yes, we have to deal with a nasty antagonist but the action isn't like last time *insert tears of sadness*. Plus, when there is action, it falls flat and doesn't go with the flow at ALL.

Boring Parts: {too many} I wouldn't say that there were "too many" boring parts (but there were) so much as there were impossible repetitions and static moments in the action. The flow felt forced, the arc crumbled, and I was left very much as an unhappy reader.

Romance: {I DON'T KNOW} There was romance, yes, but it wasn't the same as book 1 - it wasn't the delightful, charming fluffy liking that we had previously. The whole story was much darker than previous, and we left off expecting so much...but it never came to be. The plot jumped all over the place and by the end it sped up so fast and never resolved the underlying romantic conflict. I came very close to throwing it (except I borrowed it from the library as an ebook on my phone and I wasn't about to throw my phone).

My eyes are sweating: {0/5} No tears. Not like last time (#rememberthedownpour). I couldn't bring myself to connect Vika, Pasha, and Nikolai to who they were before. They felt like strangers. It was such a disappointment.

{My Rating: 2/5}


That, my dear readers, turned out to be a little bit more than a mini-blurb on July reads. I won't dwell on my explication though, so let's move on!

Currently, as of August 12th, I've read 84 books since January (weeoo). This month, I've polished off 7 books, which include the following titles (plus a small blurb on whether I liked/didn't like them):

{1} Waking Up: To Who You Really Are (If You Dare) by Ted Dekker || Inspirational...I liked it

{2} Forbidden by Ted Dekker || Intriguing plot line, but the Circle Series was better...

{3} The Hammer of Thor (#2) by Rick Riordan || Hilarious, punny, and very enjoyable!

{4} Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare || I never like Clare's idk why I bothered reading it

{5} Lirael (#2) by Garth Nix || Fascinating world + the Disreputable Dog = perfection

{6} The Orphan Queen (#1) by Jodi Meadows || Loved the world-building!! + The Black Knife!

{7} The Mirror King (#2) by Jodi Meadows || 10/10 adored this book - would recommend to everyone

That's all for now folks! I hope you enjoyed; toodleoo until next time! 

Signed with invisible ink, 
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